There are bad guys in every movie that is not a chick flick-and even the chick flicks have a few bad guys in them.
‘The bad guys are the sworn enemies of the good guys in movies and almost always fail to stand in the way of the good guys’ success by the end of the movie.’
The same is not true for car guys’ mortal enemies in a real life restoration because the bad guys win more often than they lose in this situation.
MSCC decided to compile an enemies list for car guys so they can at least know their names during the battle.
The first enemy is any kind of critter that uses an old ride as a new condo. The biggest offenders are rodents, with mice as the number one foe in this department because they are smaller and can squeeze into very small spaces.
Mice get into a car and establish a new world order inside them. They will use any chewable parts of a car as a nest base for a giant population explosion in the car. They will live, eat, use the car as a sewage/garbage dump and, most importantly, breed at alarming rates in a vehicle. The overall aroma of a mice infestation, combined with the odor of their dead relatives in the vehicle, will overwhelm the car.
This enemy will leave behind a legacy of wholesale destruction to upholstery, wiring and any other automotive component that is suitable for gnawing by these ruthless rodents. The stench alone may be enough for a less motivated car guy to wave a white flag and sell the car for parts.
The second enemy can be found on the list of previous owners. The previous owners may have been very hard on the car, possibly even crashed the car, was criminally negligent when it came to maintenance, made bone-headed alterations to the car- or may just have been Three Stooges-level incompetent when it came to mechanical skills. Any of the above may have left the car in a world of hurt that has rendered it too far gone to save.
The third enemy of the car might be the calendar. The years may not have been kind to a car on while it was on the road. Time on the road will use up a car, so constant use means wear and tear will take a toll on a car. Parts wear out when they are used and eventually they will fail to perform their duties on a car.
The list of worn-out parts will eventually get so long it will become a question of whether or not it is time to pull the plug on the patient.
The fourth enemy may well be the baddest and most feared enemy of the car for many guys. Rust is king of the mortal enemies because it can be a ruthless killing force if left to its own devices. The biggest question car guys will face is where does rust begin and end on their project vehicles.
The answer is anywhere from minor surgery to the 70s TV’s Kojak quote: “Light a candle baby-a get well card won’t do”. Rust shares one characteristic with mice because any sign of either means plenty of either in most cases. However, a car guy is much more likely to throw in the towel on their restoration because of the incredible damage caused by rust than mere critters.
Knowing your enemies is enough to win when it comes to movies but ….
‘Knowing your enemies may come up well short in a car restoration.’
Jim Sutherland
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