JUNE 4, 2012: IS IT TIME TO DETHRONE THE TRAILER QUEENS AND PUT ‘EM ON THE STREET?

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Personal opinion here: I hate trailer queens.

 

Let me clarify the term “trailer queen” before anybody gets the wrong idea.

 

Trailer queens are vehicles that leave the safety of a garage, enter the safety of a trailer and head out on the street towed by another vehicle.

 

I saw a very nice car being shoved into a covered trailer this weekend and it just kind of set me off on the topic of trailer queens.

 

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Don’t get me wrong, there are many other vehicles beyond broken down cars that should be towed behind another vehicle. A barely street legal quarter mile ride should be trailered for practical reasons like microscopic gas mileage, finicky track motors and an earnest desire for their owners to remain in one piece.

 

A theoretical situation might be a 10-second car that has enough safety equipment like lights and wipers to render it a street legal vehicle. It also might have wheelie bars and laundry on the back end because, more than anything else, it is a 1/4 mile track car.

 

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Who among us could resist a golden opportunity to unleash unholy high octane hell on some punk in a tuner car at a stoplight? There is no way that I could resist the stellar opportunity to make a 700 plus horsepower-at-the- rear-wheels car dance on the street and teach valuable lessons in humility to computerized four-banger cars and their cocky owners.

 

I am weak and so are many car guys if we had access to that kind of awesome force under our right foot. Better to trailer this kind of temptation to a show.

 

The other side of the equation would be a very early antique vehicle with a top speed of 20-30 mph. They have their place on the road, but not on freeways. They would need a helping hand down a major expressway and that help would be a trailer ride.

 

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Obviously, my main problem is a resto-mod or well restored car that is easily capable of freeway speeds and deserves a better fate than solitary confinement in a trailer. That is just plain stupid and owners of these kinds of trailer queens have no soul because they have clearly treated their rides as mere financial investments.

 

I highly recommend they set their trailer queens free and either drive them or sell them to a grateful new owner; the kind of owner that will drive them on the street. They should sell the cars and invest in a stock portfolio because they have a cold-blooded financial approach to the car hobby when they lock their cars into a trailer and suffocate any legitimate reason to own a vintage ride.

 

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Most vintage rides are like horses because you shouldn’t own either of them if your main game plan is to keep them locked in a pen, then shove them into a smaller pen and drive them around behind a truck.

 

That is the way I see it, for what it is worth.

 

Jim Sutherland

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